App
Amazingly, I made an app that works on Android devices. I used MIT App Inventor, and it took about 2 minutes.
You can download it here:
It is kosher. If you are curious, download it, and so it might run on two phones: mine and yours. When you download it you get a file called "Shoddy_Vegetarian.apk". To install it you just open it, although "just open" is a bit of an understatement because your phone first asks you if you are okay opening an app from anywhere other than the Google Play Store. Then your phone checks that there is nothing sketchy in the app. And finally, it installs it. At least after you have agreed quite a few times that it does so.